


Re:Store

by pseudomancer



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-16 22:13:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10580550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudomancer/pseuds/pseudomancer
Summary: After the slaying of the White Whale, Subaru endured the trials of Sanctuary, where he befriended one of Roswaal's maids Frederica and her younger brother Garfiel. Emilia, too, endured something special. In the process, she rediscovered the trauma of her past and overcame it together with her friends and allies.That episode is concluded, so Subaru's camp regroups at the Mathers's mansion which now lays in a state of immense disrepair. With immediate destruction and tragedy averted, Subaru must begin his next grueling task - restore Rem's health and memories.Basically, AU after the end of Arc 4. I have no specific knowledge about Arc5+, so none of that will apply to this story.





	1. Gathering

**Author's Note:**

> Most of ARC4 is translated into English, so I recommend reading that before beginning here. If you've only seen the anime, you can still probably follow along but be aware of potential spoilers.

Subaru stares at the Mathers's estate. He is sure that if it were a corpse instead of a mansion, it would be swarming with maggots by now. The torso of the once great house is blackened and charred. The tall, charming glass windows - its bright eyes - are broken and busted to pieces. Its sturdy steps, the place's lap, lie in smithereens. "Decimated" implies a loss of at least ten. Subaru would not hesitate to call this loss a loss of ten decimations. Despite his short time here in this alien world, this particular place still houses many important memories for him.

At Subaru's flanks are Emilia and Frederica. The towering blonde maid chews on the tip of a finger with her beast-man teeth - were Subaru watching, he'd surely be concerned that she might hurt herself on those razor sharp fangs! Emilia is more affected, the wholesale destruction of her backer's property rekindling painful notions of Elior Forest's glaciation. She clutches her heart. When news had reached them that everyone had repelled Elsa and the demon-beasts safely, Emilia had constructed this image in her mind that everything would be all right... She had not accounted for this kind of destruction.

Subaru turns away from the old stone skeleton, facing everyone that gathers on the dirt road. Among them, Emilia and Frederica included, are a dozing Rem, a stoic Ram, Otto Suwen, Petra, Beatrice, Garfiel, numerous villagers they had taken with them from Sanctuary, Patrasche, and Roswaal himself. Of course, not everyone from Sanctuary had chosen to come with them, but a sizable number of the outcast denizens - the half-bloods gathered over many generations - had decided to follow Natsuki Subaru and Roswaal Mathers to this place, to begin life anew.

"Right now, it isn't much, but this is your home," Subaru gestures just beyond the wrought-iron gate, "While we were away dealing with the Trial and the incredible hostage situation, bandits attacked and ransacked the mansion," Subaru doesn't like lying, but it's more convenient to explain the situation this way, than to go through the sordid detail of recounting how Elsa and a little girl had done so much harm in such a short span of time, "There isn't much right now, but there was beauty here just before I left. I believe its beauty can be restored. And so, I will be asking all of you to please, to help us rebuild. It will be hard, but I'm counting on all of you. Please."

Subaru bows deep and low. He realizes this is one of his few skills. Perhaps it's a talent not unique among many Japanese - groveling and begging without shame. Subaru graciously recognizes he would not be here today without this commonplace attribute, so he capitalizes on it here to the greatest effect he can muster. Holding that bow just a little longer than ought to be necessary, the evil-eyed teen finally straightens, then sweeps his eyes across familiar and unfamiliar faces, smiling. He judges that his plea has been appreciated and accepted.

Roswaal steps from the throng, joining Subaru at his side. The serpentine man is much less pronounced than when they had first met, though he still wears that creepy war paint slash clown face. Subaru never would have expected to stand by this man like this, as he is now.

"I cannot apologize enough. I cannot beg or grovel like Subaru-kun here. So I won't even try to," he chuckles, "But in order to begin making amends, I ask that you put your faith in Emilia and her knight, Subaru, on this endeavor of ours. They did what I could not, by freeing Sanctuary from a four hundred year atrocity. They are capable of something comparatively simple, like this mess."

Petra huffs, glaring at Roswaal. She doesn't forgive easily. She's only able to remain calm because of the pact Roswaal and Subaru now share.

He steps away, but not before making Emilia come forward, standing on Subaru's right side. The pair share a meaningful glance, a touch of embarrassment coloring Subaru's cheeks. He's trying hard not to remember their discussion from not very long ago. He hopes Ram performed her duties as a woman properly, with regard to bringing Emilia "up to speed" on such embarrassing matters. The silver-haired half-elf averts her own eyes at Subaru's apparent embarrassment, a doe-like gentleness captured in her following words:

"Thank you everyone. I will tr...live up to your expectations. Please put your faith in me. I will make this place, no, this country even, a place where people like all of you can live in peace. We must rebuild, because...because..."

Subaru injects, "-because this country needs to rebuild itself. Doesn't it Emilia-tan? That's part of what you'll have to do when you're selected."

"Right! Of course! Something like this, it won't be easy, but we will succeed. Soon, I will be taking on such harder challenges than this!"

Emilia's knight backs away as the crowd claps faintly. Ram becomes the focal point then, gathering up "able-bodied men" to assist her. They plan to at once return to the village to gather resources for rebuilding. Frederica steps forward and gathers a few young ladies and older women, offering them positions as groundskeepers or housekeepers. A couple of them follow her through the gate, where they'll be put through grueling training Subaru is painfully and intimately aware of!

The remainder of the crowd disperse and talk among themselves. Subaru wonders how they'll manage. There can be a roof above their heads in the acrid manor just ahead, but it isn't a place one ought to call home for very long...

Beatrice floats toward Subaru and Emilia. Her serious stiffness is offset by the glow in her butterfly eyes. Subaru dons a sleazy smile as he thinks about tugging on the twinned drills of her creamy hair... Fortunately for the spirit, she is about to avoid such a gruesome fate by saying something very dour.

"Betty has finished examining the person you call Rem as you asked. There isn't a lot I can say about her condition, I suppose," she sighs and shrugs.

Subaru's voice jerks, "Please just call her 'Rem', not 'the person I call Rem'. Her name is Rem. She's-"

"Rem? Are you talking about Ram's long-lost twin sister, Subaru-kun?"

"Yes, I- you used to know her very well. Besides that! You two met just before we went to Sanctuary together. Please don't forget her again already,"

"Oh, right, yes! Now I remember. Gosh, I'm sorry. How could I forget...somebody Subaru clearly..." she trails off, "Why does that feel like so long ago?"

Subaru's whole body slumps, "It does feel like a lifetime."

Beatrice hmmmphs, "I cannot validate that she is indeed related to Ram by blood. While being frugal with my mana limits the accuracy of my technique, they should be sufficient. However, my magic seems to slip off any identification spells I know of when they are directed at her - completely negating them. If I'm willing to speculate, I do not believe this is a good sign. However, without knowing what was done to her, any diagnosis I can make can be called into serious question."

Subaru nods, recalling how well-versed in healing and diagnosis Beatrice was during the time he had been fatally cursed by the demon beasts on the perimeter. If Beatrice can't make a determination, there might not be anyone in the world who can.

"Thank you again, for looking at her, Beako."

Beatrice looks away, "It wasn't any trouble, I suppose. But aren't you going to ask me to expend more mana to produce greater results? This Rem is...obviously important to you."

Emilia says, "Why are you conserving your mana, Beatrice? Aren't you a spirit like Puck? Isn't Roswaal providing you with enough mana?"

"Roswaal is not my contractor-"

"Emilia! Don't act like you already forgot that badass stuff we did together, taking down the sizable hare! Wasn't I really cool?!"

Beatrice continues over Subaru's interruption, "-he never was. My original contractor passed many years ago, but since she did pass, I have been using the ambient mana produced by the residents of the Mathers's estate to maintain my current existence. In a way, until now, you could say my contractor was the Mathers' land itself."

"No way," Emilia breathes, "You can maintain a physical form just on ambient mana?"

"My creator was especially skilled," Beatrice shrugs, "I suppose." Her musing goes over the half-elf's head.

"You keep using the word was. With the mansion in its current state, does that mean you've found a new contractor?"

Subaru sighs.

Beatrice nods, shifting her eyes over...Emilia's eyes following right after. The pair stare together at Subaru, who anxiously puts his palms up.

"Oy, don't look at me like I've done anything wrong!"

Emilia stifles a giggle. Beatrice's expression is inert.

"You always look so guilty, Subaru-kun."

"But I'm innocent, Emilia-tan! Oh, it wounds my heart so, to hear you say something so horrible..."

Emilia laughs a little more openly at Subaru's antics.

Beatrice is unamused, however, "Natsuki Subaru and I have formed a contract, one that binds us together," she is skilled at sounding quite professional about this revelation, "However, he has yet to provide me with mana sufficient for the high-yield magic I am capable of."

"Wh-What! Don't make it sound like I'm the bad guy. You didn't tell me I needed to do that. Or how!"

"I assumed you already knew, I suppose. You seem to be gifted with spirits," Beatrice shrugs, "I don't know your past, but I had assumed you'd made dealings with other spirits such as myself."

"Well, I haven't. You're practically the first."

"Then, you'll need to learn how to channel mana into Beatrice, won't you? Would you like me to help teach you? If Beatrice is offering to help look into Rem's condition, then I would be happy to help! It's the least I can do."

Subaru's cold heart melts under Emilia's generous smile. To be taught anything by Emilia?! A dream come true! Doubly so, if that teaching will possibly bring Rem back from a horrible purgatory of endless sleep.

"If Beatrice doesn't mind, then I accept."

"Now you're making me into the villainous one, I suppose..."

Subaru takes the opportunity to dart up behind her and grab her drill-hair with earnest glee, _sprooooing_! Emilia covers her mouth, Beatrice fuming. Other onlookers hold in their laughter.

"I certainly don't mind playing the part of the villain, if it means I get to do things like this!"

The blonde spirit fumes silently, wondering how she could have been won over by such an embarrassing simpleton.


	2. Knight and Liege

Two nights have passed since they returned. Now it's the third night, with fireflies - or at least this world's equivalent creature - floating in the humid air. It reminds Subaru of his home. Fireflies had liked to gather in the summer months near the living room. Here, the creatures hanging in the dug-up landscape hold a new meaning. It's a somber scene. There are horrendous hoof and paw prints littered everywhere where that little girl's ferocious creatures had gathered in large droves. Debris is strewn about, killing the grasses underneath. Subaru wonders what would have happened had he not had Return by Death'd. He imagines this mansion gone, just fireflies here floating here, much like this. Not much would be different. Just, people like Emilia would be gone. And then, would this world be as full as life was of them? Life is feeble and transient. It's a miracle someone as weak and as worthless as him can preserve it. That's what makes Rem's condition so scary. She could already be dead - no feasible way to facilitate her return. He had let his guard slip and she is paying the price for it.

Emilia ventures out into the night. She finds Subaru crouched on the battered sidewalk and invites herself, taking a folded seat.

"Hey. Can't sleep?"

"Good evening Emilia-tan," Subaru ornaments his dreary expression with a sly smile, "I'm just meditating. Your training's left me a lot to think about."

"You had a very disturbed expression for someone that was meditating."

"-ughk!"

Subaru wishes his Emilia-tan wouldn't be so perceptive at times like these. Usually she's oblivious to these finer details. Subaru wonders when she attained the ability to read him from afar like that! Anyway, he rocks back, closing his eyes in defeat.

"Subaru-kun, I can tell there's a lot on your mind. You haven't been the same since we got back. Do you want to talk about it?"

Emilia's knight drowns melodramatically. He hadn't intended to sober Emilia like this! He only wished for her happiness. But now she was aware of his own worries and in turn, it was dragging her down too. But the worst of it? Having her _notice_ this about him is making him happy! Oh woe is Subaru, his selfish heart galloping at the thought of being acknowledged like this, that she might care about his misery! Is it wrong to want this? It must be!

"I'm sorry about that-"

"There's nothing to apologize for. You have every right to be worried about Rem-san. And about other things too. You've destroyed your gate..." Emilia sighs deeply, "I wish you hadn't done that."

It was a shock to her when they had begun their training and Emilia had tried to teach him how to channel his body's mana into Beatrice through their connection. It was readily apparent Subaru's underdeveloped gate was irrevocably torn asunder and making the teaching experience that much more difficult. He would never cast a single spell again. Subaru had revealed that during the tight crisis of dealing with Garfiel, he had overdone it. Thankfully at least, this deficency would not prevent him from being Beatrice's contractor.

"I know. And after you spent so much effort to have it healed for my sake. I'm sorry. Not only did I go against your wishes, but I've devalued myself as Emilia-tan's knight. Without magic, there's not a lot I can do, or learn to do, to protect you in the future."

"It's got nothing to do with any of that! I don't think you're a prize or an item of value, Subaru-kun."

The man rubs his teary eyes, "I knew- I knew that I was worthless to Emilia-tan!"

"No! No! I didn't mean it like that! The opposite in-fact! You're someone that can't be replaced. You're priceless. So please don't try to appraise yourself like that. I don't want to hear it."

Subaru smiles knowingly, "Yeah. I had a feeling you felt that way."

"Don't make me say it then," she blushes and looks away.

Emilia is fun to tease, even if the act is morally reprehensible. It should be noted that the half-elf is actually younger than she appears, with the body of an eighteen year-old, the chronological age of one hundred and eight, and the mental age of...fourteen. This makes picking on her akin to child-abuse from where Subaru is from. This also makes his attraction to her philosophically and morally reprehensible, but Subaru really doesn't care about any of that. Before modern times, men would become engaged to women much younger than they. Considering the technological and sociological state of this world, there shouldn't be anything wrong with him being attracted to a woman that was clearly mature, physically-speaking. 

Or so creepy-Subaru rationalizes. Yes, for the purposes of separating "chivalrous-Subaru" who embodies all of Emilia's ideals as a stalwart knight, we'll say this other aspect of Subaru exists as an aberrant entity named, "creepy-Subaru". Creepy-Subaru really isn't bothered by stroking drill hair, peeking on a dozing Rem through a crack in the doorway at night, or serenading a mentally underdeveloped half-elf. Chivalrous-Subaru has nothing to do with any of that abhorrent stuff, so that idyllic man can continue to exist for when times necessitate that he does. This is how Natsuki Subaru remains so pure and noble! This is how Emilia will be able to marry such an outstanding man! Chivalrous-Subaru will always be there as a vanguard of moral purity!

"Subaru...you're making weird faces again."

"Hehehehe,"

She bops him on the forehead with her fist, "Subaruuu, you're soo making creepy noises too. Stop it! Stooop it!"

She moves to bop him again, but Subaru snatches her wrist. His reaction speed has improved since coming here. Holding her in a gentle grip, his thumb strokes her downy skin - feeling the vein in the middle of her underarm. He stares into her eyes, loosening his hold.

"I'll try not to make weird faces around you anymore. Okay? I'm sorry."

A bloom on her face, Emilia pulls her hand back, "No. I don't mind. In truth, I want to just know what's on your mind. That's all. Like, why is Natsuki Subaru out here so late when he honestly needs to rest after such a trying ordeal? Why does Natsuki Subaru always overwork himself like this? When I see you, I ask questions like these to myself. And these are not wrong questions I think. Because I've not been mindful of you, you've gone off and- when you go off on your own- it always- something terrible happens..."

A finger brushes away a tear before it can fall. Subaru can't bear to look her in the eye.

"I've been terrible, haven't I?"

"No! Absolutely not! It's I who was terrible. Because of my incompetence, you-"

"You are not incompetent Emilia." Not-looking-at-Emilia is easily superseded by denying-falsehoods-spoken-by-Emilia-about-herself, "All this time, I didn't even know how young you were. Considering the situation you're in and what you're dealing with, you're just amazing. When I was your...not your physical age, but y'know- when I was younger, I was...Just playing video games, wasting my youth, expecting great things to just come my way; I could never do what you're doing."

"I don't know exactly what you're saying, but," she sighs, "I think I understand. But, if I'm not incompetent, then there shouldn't be any reason for my...my knight, to be shouldering this much for me, without me even being aware of it."

"I'm just trying to make things easier for you. I don't tell you what I'm thinking because-"

"I'll worry?"

"Well, yes."

"Well, let me worry about whether I'll worry or not about it."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Well, neither does what you're doing! Why can't you confide in me things you think are important? Do you not believe I can't trust you to handle certain problems on your own?"

A dangerous question is voiced. Subaru feels the heaviness in her question and searches himself for an answer that will deflect her. It's not that Emilia isn't right, but...! There are certain things he can't confide in her. Not without literally killing her!

Subaru takes too long to formulate a reply, Emilia presses on, "Subaru-kun, you're amazing. Whether you acknowledge it or not, everyone I know around here truly believes you're incredible. The villagers know you stood toe-to-toe with death for their children. Ram-san and Otto-san and I- we know what you went through to get here in time to protect us from the witch cult. And even Roswaal recognizes you. He wouldn't have made you my knight, officially, if he did not believe in your ability to handle serious trouble," she swallows, "Do you remember? When we... I did not accept you as my knight, before. But now, I... things have changed. Do you get what I'm trying to say?"

Subaru covers his face with his hands. He can't refute what she's saying, because it's true. True from their perspective. Natsuki Subaru has done some amazing things. But at what cost? Ignoring Rem's current circumstance, it had taken countless returns to reach this horizon! He was damned lucky to have made it this far! Satella did not care about anyone but his own survival, so it would be trivial for him to make a mistake that costs Emilia, Ram, or Garfiel- anyone here could lose their life, and he'd have no way to return back to save them! He had made so many horrible, baffling decisions on the way to coming here. He had almost abandoned Emilia more than once! He had turned his back on everyone more than once! He had watched Rem crawl and bleed for him!

But he can't convey this to her. He can't confide this truth. She'll think he's just mad.

"Subaru..." Emilia is perplexed by his expression, but the obvious derision and pain tugs at her.

"You're incredible. I wish I could be worthy of your praise."

"But you are!" her fingers press into the divet of her collar, "Who was it that helped me overcome my trial?"

"I didn't do all that much..."

"You did! What you did...meant a lot to me."

Subaru swallows. He almost brings up the fact he's the reason Puck is gone, that he put her in that state in the first place. But he has to keep that down.

He resigns, "I understand what you're trying to say. But you know...people have to keep secrets. Even lovers have to keep secrets from each other, right? It's just...nobody can share everything, all the time."

"I know that. I'm not expecting that," she avoids the word 'lovers', stifling the prickle on her cheeks as she does it.

"Sometimes, I'll have to keep a secret, to protect you...I'll have to lie, to protect you... I'll do anything I can to protect you, even if that means I-"

"I know. I know. You're my knight. So I've accepted that."

A genuine smile unfurls. "Oh." He wasn't expecting such a confession.

"Do you understand?"

"I think I do. You just want me to..."

"...talk to me. You've said similar stuff before, right?"

"I guess I can do that."

"And I don't want you sacrificing yourself anymore. Not without my permission."

Subaru laughs, "That's a tall order. I definitely cannot do that."

Of course, Echidna had made him realize how easy it'd be to create a future where only others could be happy, if he burned himself out doggedly helping others. But even after accepting that, he had realized it would still be necessary to make some sacrifices to protect everyone's future.

Cheeks puff out. Emilia grits her teeth. She pouts. Dangerously. It's a dangerous look. A silver-haired half-elf as adorable as Emilia shouldn't make such faces. It could kill a lesser man.

"If I win the election, and you're not there to see it, then I don't want to win."

Subaru sighs, thinking how easily this half-elf somehow reached some of the same conclusions he had during his own trials. She's more like him than he'd initially thought.

And what's with such heavy, prophetic declarations - Subaru winces, thinking he ought to kill himself right now. If Emilia gets such a stubborn idea in her head, it'll make protecting her so incredibly difficult! There's definitely no way with how the past few weeks have gone that they'll be able to make it if he doesn't throw himself into every sling, every arrow, and every poisonous blade that comes her way. That's the definition of being a bodyguard!

Some of those thoughts are apparently voiced to Emilia, because she barks back, "You're not my bodyguard! You're my knight. What kind of- how can I be a candidate without a proper knight at my side? I'll be a laughing stock."

"Wh-What's with you tonight Emilia? You're... this isn't like you."

The fire in the half-elf's voice withers with a passing breeze. She flickers in and out of saying something, before revealing, "I just realized, is all. Everything. I need to do better. And I feel like, part of that means...acknowledging this. Roswaal made you my knight. And so that means I must use you. And that also means I must help you realize your full potential. I can't possibly do that if you just...run off and do your own thing."

"Oh."

"Anyway, I think I've said enough. Goodnight Subaru-kun."

"Oy- oy- wait, wait," he tugs on her sleeve-

The sleepy half-elf wasn't prepared for such a strong pull. And Subaru isn't used to his growing strength. The net result is...an awkward lap-pillow moment.

"S-Sorry!"

"No, it's fine," she mmms, "Just...don't apologize."

"Ah- that's right. Thank you Emilia-tan."

She snerks, holding back a drained giggle, "Thanking me for using you as a pillow?"

"No, it's that I believe you've just discovered the extent of my untapped potential, Emilia-sama."

She loses it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was gross to write.


	3. Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mental state writing this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qU2MXeAz1E

Subaru casts a gaze down the long azure hall. The air is still foul with baked-in fumes. The fire chewed through everything, scorching the blue stone and leaving little in-tact in its wake. Much of the material possessions here will need to be hauled out and thrown away; what remains of them anyway. They can't really be broken down for much; that's just the state everything's been reduced to - zero. Subaru even checks a charred dresser - one of the drawers is sealed shut, while another is just a fragile, hollowed-out frame. It's in better shape than most of the things he's found - just ash, in some places.

A lot of work has been carried out so far. Frederica's strength is incredible. Ram is undoubtedly good at organizing others. Garfiel can apparently cook tasty vegetable stew. Emilia's ice magic has been helpful in polishing out stains in the masonry. Even Roswaal, Subaru has found, is in the process of dutifully cleaning out his office - taking things to the trash, preserving what books and artifacts he can. He is surprised to find everyone doing their part. The thought of giving up doesn't occur to any of them. Each of them are seriously committed to realizing a rejuvenation of this place. It's killer. He wishes he could do more to spur them on, to make a difference in their work. But this is something his power can't really help with. You can't brute force recovery. Everyone has to be willing to give it their all, to want to start over; to believe in what's to come. It's as that one Japanese saying goes, somebody else's horizon is where you're already standing.

With his feet comfortably treading the familiar space, he arrives at one of the few rooms untouched by the fire. He pushes open the door and steps into the light granted by the tall open window. Absently, he wonders if he should be keeping her outside for now. The ignorant people of this world aren't aware of the dangers of airborne chemicals unleashed by rapid oxidation (thank you compulsory Japanese education!). He isn't sure this place is safe to be sleeping in. Nevertheless, he can't leave Rem to the elements, either. An open window will have to suffice for now.

Subaru can worry about such finer details because right now Rem is safe. He can worry about how they'll keep her muscle tone, or how they'll keep her clean and protected from bedsores. Because immediate danger has passed, he can worry about these "trifles". That such problems are minor in respect to what he had just overcome indicate that Rem's presence in this world may not hold fast. Emilia is a first-rate galge heroine in terms of what harm she'll attract...

"Hey," Subaru reaches out, his fingers undeservedly feeling a warm forehead, brushing away matted bangs, "How're you?"

Rem's-Subaru can say these words without any guilt.

"Yeah?" 

"I thought so."

"You missed a lot, you know."

"Do you know of Garfiel or Frederica? I met them. They're here right now, cleaning up this mess. I'm sure if you saw the state of things right now, you'd be so fired up... There's a lot of work for you."

"But don't worry about that okay? Just rest. We'll take care of it."

"Assuming it can even be cleaned up. Roswaal says the damage is extensive, nearly a total loss. There's just some old stones here now."

"Ram looks really sad. I asked her to punish me for letting Otto do what he did."

"You know, she didn't punish me though? I think I'm starting to understand your sister a little better these days."

"Can you believe I have to lead the kitchen starting tomorrow? Garfiel's a good cook, but he's got no self-restraint. Frederica won't let him back in after he made a huge mess."

"I think he'd be receiving lessons from you right now. With me too, of course. You still have to teach me a few things. I've been told my tea still needs a lot of work. I feel like Petra's already outclassed me in housekeeping. And, there's just some stuff you won't pick up studying on your own."

"So you have to get better, m'k? I can't expect Ram to teach me certain things. You know how she is.

"And Emilia...she's not a bad teacher in her own right, I am learning a lot from her."

"But, there are some things only you can teach me."

"I bet you're curious what Emilia's been teaching me? Or maybe you'd rather not hear about it."

"Well, I'll tell you anyway."

"Today, Beatrice-- y'know, she's lost her library? She's forced to spend all her time with me now-- it was the two of us, with Emilia leading. She talked a lot about conveying mana correctly through a contract."

"I did tell you yesterday that I formed a contract with Beatrice, right? It was during all the chaos, I needed her strength, so... Yeah, I'm afraid I can't say any more than that. I'm sure you understand, right?"

"Where was I?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah...where was I?"

"Yeah, I was...Emilia's smart. But she's not perfect. She talked a lot about Puck. All of her explanations go back to Puck. It's making it hard for her, I can tell. He means a lot to her."

"I shouldn't have done that to her, Rem. There had to be another way."

"I can't take it back, though. What's done is done."

"Do you think I should...Sorry, nevermind. I can't ask you that. It's something I have to decide on my own."

"Apparently, I have some kind of weird synergy with Beako. She says it's still not enough, but Emilia says a little more practice is all I'll need. I know I don't fully understand, but I have this feeling she's really amazed or something."

"I can't say that I understand Beako. Because, supposed synergy or not, I didn't understand her at all until very recently. I've only scratched the surface. But, what I felt when I connected with her today was..."

"Rem, you won't be lonely like this, will you? Frederica will visit you plenty. I'll try to, as well. But I'm going to be busy, so."

"You'll have to spend some more time in here by yourself, I think."

"I think it will be hard. So you have to try to get better okay? I don't know if Beako can help me, or not. If she can't, who will we turn to?"

"I'm sorry to ask. I have no right to. But I will anyway. Because..."

"I'm sorry for prattling on like this."

"Is it stupid of me to think just talking to you will make you wake up?"

It's funny, Subaru thinks. Emilia spent a century like this. Will Rem? Puck woke up the half-elf somehow... If only he knew where he was. 

Subaru leans over her face, studying her breathing.

A childish thought strikes Subaru.

"Y'know, Yusuke did something like this...I mean, it's not quite the same. But..."

He kisses her.

When he pulls away, he feels dirty. Her lips are warm but, placid. It isn't like kissing a fish, but it is probably worse than that time he kissed psycho-Emilia. Even creepy-Subaru is disgusted with himself. If there is a hell, Subaru believes he deserves it alone for what he just did! Rem is defiled! Defiled!

"I'm sorry. You won't remember, but please try to forgive me."

"Forgive you for what, Barasu?"

Subaru's chair crashes to the floor. He clutches his chest, then turns around, giving a sigh of relief. Ram is standing in the doorway. He isn't sure how, but her voice had seemed so much like Rem's...Of course not seeing her lips move-- hearing Barasu of all things-- he wasn't fooled for even a second-- but it still frightened him.

"Barasu...?"

"Sorry, you startled me, is all."

Ram casually floats to Rem's side. She watches her, contemplating.

"I would apologize, but your comment about forgiveness makes me suspect you of something foul."

Subaru swallows thickly, "I just tried something very stupid, is all."

Ram nods in an assertive way reminiscent of how an elite honors student would from his previous world. Subaru is sure Ram was born on the wrong side of the waterfall. She's clever and talented enough to have been somebody great, from where he's from. Instead, she's stuck serving a shady clown like Roswaal.

"Somehow, your very stupid ideas work out from time to time," she narrows her eyes, "I will graciously count the burnt-out wreckage we are currently living in as one of those stupid ideas."

"Ah, it's as I said, because Otto-"

"Please be a man and take responsibility, Barasu."

He bows, "Yes ma'am."

She entertains a thin smile, "Very good," not minding him, she bends over and picks up the fallen seat, stealing it for herself. Chairs in good condition are currently a rare commodity around these parts, "Shall I assume the latest bad idea you had was kissing my sister in hopes it would awaken her?"

White as a sheet, Subaru recalls his words to Rem not very long ago, 'fanatical like a demon'. Ram's eyes are very fanatical right now.

"Correct."

"Barasu."

"You can smack me if you want. But logically, I had to try it. If there's any chance it would have worked..."

"There is no way my sister, no matter how foolish-- if she is truly related to me, I cannot see how that would work. A man like you..."

"What are you trying to say?"

"You are a very troublesome man. There is no one among us here who would disagree."

"I think-"

"If only you would."

"Now that's unnecessarily harsh! Rem- when she wakes up- she'll say it plainly! That I'm..." his face threatens to transform into hives! Blistering red hives! "-Rem's Subaru."

He's surprised to find a new expression in Ram. He can't describe what it symbolizes, but he knows he's never seen her so precisely puzzled.

"Don't make such an incredulous face, is it really that hard to..."

What is Ram looking at?

"Hard to..."

Is Ram looking at what Subaru thinks Ram is looking at?

"Hard, to..."

Should he turn around? 

No, he shouldn't, right? 

This is the part where Elsa reveals herself to have been hiding under Rem's bed all along, or barring that just now climbed through the open window. That's what he'll see right? Some comical atrocity like that? There's obviously some joke of a fated route where he dies like that! 

A hand tugs on his sleeve. Subaru turns his head.

He finds precious eyes. Rem. She's sitting up, one arm holding the covers around her breast.

"Excuse me," her hoarse voice cracks, "Could I please have some water?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to keep these bite-sized. I think it's easier to write this way. When I make behemoth chapters it's a lot harder to QA them. And to keep them churning.


End file.
